If you are not Okay, Voice it.
Woman, what is your normal day like? You wake up in the morning, make breakfast for everyone, make & pack lunch for everyone, get ready, get your kids ready, go to work, send kids to school or get them to attend online class, finish work and come back home, make dinner, serve, wind up the kitchen, may be sit with the kid for a bit for his lessons or just play a game with, laundry, dishes, re stocking grocery. I may have forgotten a few in the list now — but yes that’s what the daily routine of a typical Indian woman looks like. And it feels much more tiresome than it looks. Maybe some of us are privileged to get help in taking care of some of these tasks, and yeah those help are 99% women too. So imagine the same story repeating there as well. So in all this, where’s the time to do anything for yourself? I’m a mother of a 4 year old, and I chose to work after the baby was born. Having been ambitious all the while, in my head I was prepared to bounce back to work once the baby was born, but It took me quite some time physically to come to terms with the new me, emotionally I still haven’t quite recovered. And mentally — it’s exhausting every single day to think of the umpteen number of tasks I was going to do & then having to bring myself back to the creatively demanding job. How was I going to do all of that? The answer was “don’t think about it, just do it; like you always do”.
But, does it happen with you as often as it happens with me? I find myself overwhelmed with responsibilities and exceptionally low on being at least acknowledged for doing it all. Each day has a repetitive performance to stage but seldom an audience who watches it or has anything to add to making it worthwhile. Tend to get gender biased when I find my efforts get away thanklessly but honestly if you zoom out — it’s not really a gender thing. It’s more of a human thing, I can’t find the correct phrase or words for it. Sometimes I look around and stop to calm my nerves coz the pace, with which we live, surpasses my ability to absorb it. The daily run or chores has reached such a stage that I’ve forgotten what it feels to just breathe, just sit calm and hold hands. I’ve forgotten how it feels to just be around with my best friends without worrying what to do next. I’ve forgotten what it is to connect with cousins.
‘How are you?’ has become such a casual question that we forget to really pause and think and answer it correctly. We say “fine” or “I’m good” without really meaning it. And that is where we make the mistake. As a result of which, I’ve forgotten when was the last time it mattered to anyone how I actually was doing. I’ve forgotten the sense of ‘being’ and it’s not permanent. This too shall pass. But I’ve forgotten when was the last time someone told me I was special.
So, if you are not okay, voice it. Else you will end up writing sulk blogs like me ;)
-By Tej D